Blethers and blahs

Random ramblings from a chaotic life


on July 17, 2007

One of my less attractive traits is that I am nosey.  Ok, I know I am not alone in this, and it is not only a female thing, men are just as nosey as women, lol.  I read a lot of blogs, some more frequently than others.  I read blogs of people I know and of people I am never likely to meet.  I think I read blogs from half a dozen different countries over time.  Most of these blogs have one thing in common – they are written by parents.  Mostly these are mums, but there are also dads and grandparents in there too.  One thing that shines out from all these blogs is the love that parents have for their children.

Some of the blogs I read belong to people for whom life is fairly smooth, for others it is not.  Some have children who fall into the category of 'normal', whatever that is, some do not.  Some of these parents have children who have greater needs than others, either because of an illness such as autism, cerebral palsy or muscular dystrophy, or because of an emotional or physical trauma the family has suffered.  What is so clear though is the devotion of the parent to making life the best it can be for the child.

I was a single parent for many years, not of my own choosing but as a result of circumstances.  This made life difficult for all of us and totally changed the way I parented my children.  Many a time the struggle was almost unbearable and there were times when I felt like shouting 'why me?' from the rooftops.  Well, why not me?  I did the best I could, but often felt I was found wanting by others, usually those in a position of responsibility and/or authority.  For many years I felt inferior to those families with two parents, at times the guilt I felt was almost overwhelming.  What was I doing to my children, trying to raise them alone?

With hindsight I see things so differently!  The people I thought were judging me did me a favour because they made me try harder to be the best parent I could.  Those families with two parents?  I had an easier time than them because my children knew when I said something was final, it was final.  There was no other parent to go and ask and try and get things changed.  Several times over the past few months my children have thanked me for bringing them up as I did, for giving them the skills they needed to be independent and live their own lives as they want to.  This makes me so proud.  My children are not, never have been nor are ever likely to be, angels.  What they are is self confident, responsible, mannerly and respectful of others who deserve their respect. 

I would just like to say to all the parents and grandparents out there – keep up the good work – for it is good work, maybe even great work.  Every now and again give yourself a break, tell yourself you are doing your best and it is a great job.  Most importantly of all though, tell your children how much you love them.  Children who know they are loved can be anything they want to be and the parents of those children should feel justifiably proud of themselves.  Take care x x x

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